Should I Be Worried

I went to my doctor the other day so he could examine this rash I had on my back.  When he lifted up my shirt I got a little scared when he started to scream, “Oh my God, it’s the plague run for your life!”

Men Doctors

Doctors could molest the crap out of people without them even knowing it, especially you women.  All the doctor has to do is make up some kind of medical name for his test.  “Ah, this is called a molestoeology, now drop your bra and give me your boobs.”

I Hate Doctors

I went to my doctor the other day for a physical.  After he finished, I turned around to put on my pants, and all of a sudden he slaps me on the butt.  I don’t know about you, but I never heard about that kind of medical test before.  Was he checking how firm my butt was or was he just molesting me again?

Poor Use Of A Power

Imagine being a villain and superman uses his ejaculation as a weapon.  “Superman, you shot me, you shot me with your sperm.  How disgusting is that!  What’s wrong with you man, couldn’t you just use your eye beams or something?  Now I feel so dirty.   I haven’t felt this way since my uncle took me to his basement.”

Superman

I feel sorry for Superman because he could never have sex.  I mean a male’s ejaculation can go a couple of miles per hour, so imagine how fast Superman’s sperm could go.  The only thing left would be the woman’s leg.  It’s like, “Oh Louis, oh Louis, bang, Louis where are you?  What did I do?”  Superman comes running out of the room with Louis’s legs in each hand.

Why don’t they want me

I used to be a cheerleader, but whenever I would give a cheer all the other cheerleaders would always run away from me.  I mean, so what if my pants were see-through and I wasn’t wearing any underwear, I still can cheer with the best of them.

Europ

You know why most European countries don’t have cheerleaders; it’s because of their alphabet.  “Give me an A, give me a B, give me two Ks back to back of each other, with two dots on top of them.”

Being The Boss

My father is about to retire and give me his business.  I can’t wait to take it over and run it into the ground. 

Work Meds

Work really sucks. It causes headaches, ulcers and back pain. You deal with stupid people and many more stressful events. But there is a cure to all of this, quit. That’s right, quit. You can take it in a bottle, in a shot, or even in a gun. I’ve been taking quit for 27 years now and I feel great. Warning: quite can cause starvation, insanity, depression, anal leakage, and untimely death. You should take quit while drunk or on a high-speed car chase.

This Should Make You Laugh

You know for some reason I always wanted to be a stand-up comedian.  So one day I got enough nerve and I went to an amateur night, at a bar, for new comedians.  Well that chair to my head made me realize that stand-up comedy wasn’t for me.