Knife

Never accept a knife as a gift from someone, you never know if they used it in a crime or not. How do you think I got my son sent to jail.

Elevator Doors

I read an article about a man getting decapitated by an elevator door. Why would someone try and hold the doors open with their head, I could understand using someone else’s head, but why your own. That just crazy.

When I Pee

My doctor informed me that when I pee, blood shouldn’t come out. I guess drinking all that acid wasn’t a good idea.