Falling Down

You should never fall down escalators that are going up. You will never hit the bottom. You will just keep falling down and staying in one place. Unless a piece of you face gets stuck in one of the stairs and drags you back up.

Scissors

After spending six days in the hospital I now know why running with scissors is a lot worse then running around with a loaded gun shooting at your family members.

Medicine That Can Help

Never use medicine just because it sounds like another medicine that can help. For example, once my eyes were red so I looked all around for some Visine but I couldn’t find any. But I did find some Vaseline and since their names are similar, I figured they would work the same. They don’t, I guess that’s why I went blind.

Doughnuts

Here’s some advice I’m going to give you lonely men.  Never practice having sex with doughnuts, especially when you’re in the store buying them.