The Truth Hurts

I don’t think you should come up with any excuses when you have an affair. Just go up to your wife, with a box of candy and flowers, and tell her the truth. When the doctor pulls the box of candies and flowers out of your rectum, I’ll say you got off pretty lucky.

Imagine going to the doctors with a box of candies and flowers sticking out of your butt. How do you explain what happened to you? Your ego won’t let you say your wife beat you up. So I guess you can say, “My wife decided that it would look better if flowers were sticking out of my anus rather than a vase and why let the candy take the long way.”

Excuses, Excuses

I love the excuse men give their wives when the wife finds out they’ve been having an affair.  He would usually say, “It just happened.”  What the hell is that suppose to mean?  Are you saying that when you were talking to this other woman some how your pants fell off, her skirt dropped, your penis jumped out into her vagina and it got stuck.  So you kept on tugging and pulling and tugging and pulling to get it out, until “whoops.”  Is that what you mean by it just happened?