Arresting My Father

The hardest thing I ever did in my life was arresting my father. I had to throw him down the stairs so he would stop fighting back.

Father Angry

Once my father got so angry that smoke came out of his ears. Well maybe the smoke was from the fire it put him in, but he was really angry. I could tell by the look on his face before it melted away.

Tuck Me In At Night

I hate it when my father tucks me in at night. He would always put the pillow over my head and not under. Most of the time I’m not even in bed, I would be on the couch watching T.V, playing in the yard or sitting in the kitchen.

When You Grow Up

My teacher asked me once, “What do you want to be when you grow up?”

“I want to be just like my dad.”

“Really, what does your father do?”

I happily said, “He sleeps all day and beats my mother.”

Scared Of Me?

My father asked me once, “Why are you so scared of me?”

“Because you’re always angry and I’m afraid you’re going to kill me one day.”

“I’m not that violent of a person. I’m like a gentle lamb inside, with a knife, just waiting for the right time and place.”

Wearing My Father’s Suit

I remember once my mother got angry with me for wearing my father’s suit. I really don’t know why she got so bent out of shape, it’s not like my father is going to use it. Besides I didn’t leave him naked in his coffin, I covered him with a tablecloth.

Me Praying

Once my father caught me praying, for him to die, and said, “you better be careful for what you wish for, because it just might come true.”

“I guess I better stop praying and start wishing then,” I said happily.

Very Bad Temper

My father has a very bad temper. I mean anything can set him off. If he’s not eating his favorite food he gets angry, if he’s sitting the wrong way he gets angry, if he’s breathing he gets angry. One day I wanted to see how angry I could get him so when he was sitting down watching T.V I slapped him across the face as hard as possible and ran down the hallway, into my room. I locked the door and pushed a chair up against it. I waited, under my bed, for a few minutes and heard nothing. No screaming, no cursing, no banging on the door, no glass breaking, no “I’m gonna kill you all,” no car ramming the garage, no fire, no throwing the T.V threw the window, absolutely nothing.

I removed the chair and open the door little by little to see if he was there. Nothing, the hallway was empty. I slowly walked down to the living room and peeked in. He was sitting in his chair crying. I went over to him and he looked at me with tears running down his face. He put his hand on my shoulder and said in a very sincere way, “I got you.”

The beating I received that day was epic. When I finally woke up in the hospital I was missing my teeth and ears.

Golf Club

Once my father tried to teach me how to play golf, until I accidentally hit him in the head with a golf club. I was aiming for his mouth, to shut him up, but he had to turn around to try and get away.

My First Computer

I remember when I broke my first computer. I was so scared to tell my father that I tried to fix it myself. Glue, duct tape, hammer and nails really don’t help.