Choking

My friend was choking on some food once, so I punched in the back of the head as hard as possible.

An Old Friend Of Mine

I ran into an old friend of mine. When we started to talk about family he showed me a picture of his late wife and I said, “Wow, she’s ugly. You actually married that thing?” He got so angry that he started to hit me until I was able to get into my car and run him over. That’s why I ran into an old friend of mine.

Having Friends

I hate having friends, they’re too expensive to hire.