Cell Phone

A friend on mine was talking on his cell phone one day. I approached him and asked, “Hey, are you selling drugs?”

“Why would you ask me such a thing?”

“Because you’re black and you have a cell phone.”

My Spleen

My friend dared me that I couldn’t stab my spleen. It took me awhile but I finally found it. It was hiding behind my left eye.

Mean And Nasty

My friend asked me once, “Why are you so mean and nasty?”

“Because nice people die young. I should know, who do you think killed my brother.”

Choking

My friend was choking on some food once, so I punched in the back of the head as hard as possible.

An Old Friend Of Mine

I ran into an old friend of mine. When we started to talk about family he showed me a picture of his late wife and I said, “Wow, she’s ugly. You actually married that thing?” He got so angry that he started to hit me until I was able to get into my car and run him over. That’s why I ran into an old friend of mine.

Having Friends

I hate having friends, they’re too expensive to hire.