I remember once when I laid next to my mother in her bed, she woke up and said to me, “How’d you escape from the basement?”
“You shouldn’t worry about that now. What you should be worried about is all the cleaning fluid I injected into your body,” I said while showing her insulin syringe.
You know why we minorities don’t do extreme sports, it’s because we don’t have health insurance! Besides, if we get hurt our mothers will break every single bone in our bodies and then send us to school.
Underneath my bed was a safe haven from my mother’s friendly beating stick. Whenever she wanted me to meet her friend I would always hide underneath my bed where she wasn’t able to reach me. Until one day she got this brilliant idea of shoving that dam stick under the bed, and since I was trapped like a rat, my sanctuary became a place of cries and pain.
My mother used to get a lot of exercise when she was younger. It’s not easy running around after you kids and then beating them.
My mother sat my sister down one day to give her some advice, which I overheard. She started off with a story. She said, “Honey let me tell you a true story about one of my friend’s daughter. She got married when she was 20 years old and moved out of her parent’s house. She was very happy with her new husband. Three years later she got pregnant and the joy she felt was incredible. She couldn’t wait to have the baby and take care of it. Well when she went into labor there was a slight problem, the child and mother died. Her mother was heart broken and hasn’t recovered yet. I want you to listen to me very carefully to me now. Never get married and never have children! And if you ever think about moving out you’ll be dead to me!”
